21 November 2004

The things that I used to do

Events conspire. This last week has been one of those times when subliminal messages lurk around every corner, in every billboard, every NPR program, even every MASH rerun. I'm continually flogged by hints that it might be for the best if I examine my daily life more closely, compare my habits with habits I used to have, and then look at the results. Compare and contrast.

I think it started when I checked out this guy, courtesy of Aaron Excursus (which is how I think of him, Mr. A. Excursus, esq). Reading that guy's website reminded me of a few things.

It turns out that I used to regularly practice meditation of the zen flavor for several years, and even regularly went to classes at the local zen center. I stopped.

I also used to be a vegetarian, during which time I felt quite vibrant and healthy, and enjoyed many exhilarating culinary forays into the world of tempeh and miso and quinoa. Then I stopped.

I used to be uninsured, so I relied heavily on herbal and homeopathic medicine for health care, which actually served just fine. Although I am thankful to be insured now in case of disaster, there was no real reason for me to have given up herbals and homeopathy and generally basic nutrition. But I did, in fact, stop.

When I ate, I usually tried to eat mindfully. When I was overwhelmed, I tried to observe the crush of worry and fear and be observant that I was experiencing those things. I used to be more thoughtful, more awake, more aware.

So I'm working on a relapse.

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